highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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