She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
