careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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