Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
