Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
