took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
