if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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