You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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