watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
