yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize