Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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