I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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