I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize