Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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