dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
