Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
