My underwear smells like fireworks.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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