And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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