My brain says no but my pants say off.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
