just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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