Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
