Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
