so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
