I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize