I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
