Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
