thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
