Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize