I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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