I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
