Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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