Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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