loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
