where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm having to shit out rocks
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