tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize