I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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