So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
