he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
they need to just BURY HIM!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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