To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm both gender and math confused
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
