what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
