idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
