Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
