White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
