I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my shit smells like andre
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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