Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize