She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize