I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
