Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
