Apparently you make a good broom.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
