I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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