Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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