Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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