wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
