i need an iv and a liver transplant
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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