I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
