What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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