yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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