What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
