U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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