i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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