He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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