No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize