I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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