I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
