She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
