So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
