It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
