The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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