Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
