Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
