Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
