The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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