I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
