Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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