Soap is not a condiment
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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